It is required you do awake your faith. ~ Shakespeare
Some nights I go outside onto the porch and watch the moon cross the sky. I can’t feel the earth spin, but I know it's moving...
There is my experience of something, and then there are infinite realities outside of that experience.
My expectations are only fractionally met.
This really messes with to-do lists.
I’ve a clear sense of what must get done on any given day, but for two-thirds of my list this isn’t necessarily true. It’s an idea of how I might best partner and most responsibly contribute. In creating high standards for myself, taller than my 5' 4" body self can sometimes reach, there are rippling effects when something rolls over on to the next day’s list. Promises are broken. Words deflate from their meaning. Character is redefined.
It matters. Not the stuff on the list, but showing up in ways that I commit to. I'm talking about intention and attentional focus.
So how does everything I put on a list get done in the time I’ve set aside to do it?
It doesn't. Not in linear time.
Of course there is grace around this, elastic perspective because all of life is not about getting things done, and yet... I'd like more coordination around this, more synchronicity and awareness when I create the lists. More... faith that though this is my list, we're all working together in a shared universe and that what's more important is to be present, so I can see what is required in a given moment (versus that moment in the morning during a cup of coffee in which I create the day's list!)
So, my practice for the week is to awake my faith
…that there is a momentum beyond what I can feel
…that (like gravity) there are epic things in play that I greatly benefit from but will only ever marginally understand
…that attention tuned to a wider frequency than my own perspective can guide priorities
(and maybe a bit more time outside under starlight)
always in motion,