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Beginning Again

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Written February 2019
Although the wind
Blows terribly here
The moonlight also leaks
Between the roof planks
Of this ruined house

~ Izumi Shikibu

I have a dear friend who lives in Pretoria, South Africa. We met in a stairwell in 1999 at a conference in NYC, and have been like sisters ever since. A few years ago her car was burgled in a grocery store parking lot while she was inside buying milk. She lost irreplaceable intellectual property she’d spent years creating and didn’t have the money to replace the lost digital equipment.

When she told me the details, I asked her if she was ok, and she said, “I’m fine. This is South Africa. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. Why would I expect to be spared of the violence that is happening in my country to so many people…”

This was her response. No anger, no blame, no talk of injustice. Only compassion and understanding for the larger whole that was clearly broken.

Her wisdom is what I reached for as I tried to sort through how it was possible Kai (whose work most know under the name Brian Andreas) could lose a company he built along with 19 years of copyrights to an ex who had nothing to do with their creation or reach into the world - a large portion of his work now in the hands of family who vilify his character in public and private, only to turn around and rely upon the history of his name and work for business… 

As a fellow artist, this is shocking, but it's not Kai's loss that causes me to write. There will always be people in our world who lie about others and themselves, about who they are and what they have done. Even at the highest levels of office, there may seemingly be no consequences... It's maddening, but we can only control the authenticity of our own voice, monitor our own intent with regular introspection, humility, and grace.

In this unparalleled time in our world's history, everyone is touched by profound loss and significant change. We are all rebuilding and redefining our identities and relationships in this new world...

This is simply a note to say that Brian now creates under the name Kai.

    In order to move forward, Kai has decided to reserve his former legal name, Brian Andreas for his older work and continue to create under his new legal name, Kai Skye. We have created a unique studio signature we add to pieces so you know when you're working with and supporting the actual artist.

    Everyone is fighting for something these days. Kai and I keep our challenges in perspective, knowing many fight for far more than their voice as an artist...

    This is my country. What happens to one of us happens to all of us.

    As I think of my friend, I breathe deeply, and summon her grace and expanded heart. There is grief in loss, but there can also be freedom, an opportunity to reframe and rebuild.

    A chance to see the moon...

    always in motion,



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