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closet identity

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If you want to know who I am (today), look in my closet.

It evolves with every life change.

every move. each job and relationship alteration. living with cats. living with a dog. an apartment. a house. concrete streets. uneven earth. New York, Indiana, Maine, Montana. single, married, divorced, back in love…

It’s obvious how I see myself, what I value, how I live my days. The go-to-wearable-at-any-weight-in-any-temperature velvet dress is gone. Heels replaced by cowboy boots. And you’ll only find natural fibers – except for a few random pieces that still hold purpose and do not grossly violate current moral vows.

It’s personal and deeply meaningful. As if a shirt or a pair of jeans holds a memory or represents a tangible quality or aspect of my identity, and the moment that clothing is gone, the memory or trait will cease to be…

Of course I know this isn’t true.

Things matter. Until other things matter more. 

…brand, fit, fashion, color, price, quantity, quality, comfort, functionality, warmth, breathability, ethics…

If I dig deeper, I see my choices of shoes and clothing are directly connected to my center – my moral vows, inner compass, core beliefs (I also think of these as my belly beliefs because when I’m to the side of them, my body registers this in my gut)… These govern how I navigate and act based on what I think is true and important. I reference these to justify my actions, language, and choices.

If values center around acceptance from others, fame or recognition via a career, money, health of the planet, equality of species… this will be the driver, the lens through which I see the world. It will light up certain options and shade others – and all this, will undoubtedly be reflected in the clothes I wear.

It seems incredibly simple, and perhaps not entirely accurate, but if I take a hard look at the clothing in my closet from my teens to the present day… I can pretty much track the evolution of my core beliefs…

Too much, the feeling of not enough or not the "right" pieces that match the work I need to do... pieces that sit there never worn, pieces worn every wash cycle. Whole years where I never even think about clothes and shoes because something matters more... which reveals something else. 

So, as we are all in the midst of (re)defining just about everything, it makes perfect sense our closets may be calling out for an adjustment. 

always in motion,


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