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enough.

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Embrace your writer’s block. It’s nature’s way of preserving trees and your reputation. Listen to it and try to understand its source. Often writer’s block happens because somewhere in your work you’ve lied to yourself and your subconscious won’t let you go any further until you’ve gone back, erased the lie, stated the truth and started over.  ~ José Rivera

Years ago, I read these words in American Theatre Magazine. And though Rivera was offering tips on playwriting, I have thought of this as a metaphor for many relationships over the years…

If I hadn’t lied on p. 9… might we have gotten to a different p. 46…

During today's morning writing practice, I had one of those bone-deep “oh….” moments, when a lie unravels to expose a truth.

I saw where I'd let someone else’s fears outweigh my own sense of the world, and in doing this, I'd allowed an unwarranted layer of shame to accompany me for longer than I care to admit. 

My lie on page 9 was defending something I ought to have celebrated. 

When I realized this, a wash of emotions flooded through me, one toppling over another... until there was a quiet exhale. And in this space of silence, I could hear something else: an invitation to celebrate, really celebrate all of the choices I'd made that changed my story. 

This is my Edna. The voice that finally said in a way I was ready to hear it... Enough.

Edna Mercury is the name I have given to the voice inside me that knows something before I may admit to knowing it. She is emotional-social-sensual-intelligent-spiritual-psychic-attuned-intuitive and willing to speak authentic truths that disrupt status quo and forge paths to impossible places. She is ancient and visionary, elemental and complex. She speaks through others and through me directly in the form of ideas and my state of health and wellness. 

Though we may each call her by a different name, I believe we all have a vibrant inner voice that holds us accountable and helps us navigate our true north.

I'm not certain we can erase our lies as easily in life as we can in writing, but we can take responsibility for them and admit truths in order to move forward, unfettered, in celebration ...

always in motion,

Fia

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Comments


  • Your words resonate with my own inner awareness. I am so tired of the lies and journey into the unknown territories of my own heart-truth. Love will show me the way.

    Deidre on
  • I am realizing that I don’t know the name of my “inner Edna” and will now be listening for the name. I’m fairly certain she’s feminine but I may have a surprise coming. Thanks SO much.

    Joan on
  • I have not named my inner voice. I will have fun thinking about it!
    I am appreciating allowing your words to help heal my soul. Your words today led me to these thoughts: Each time I have said “enough” there have been people who I believed loved me unconditionally that have slipped, not always silently, away from me. I am mostly okay and accept their choice, however, sometimes I miss who I thought they were.

    Wanda on
  • I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed this today. From the Jose Rivera quote through your wonderful description of Edna Mercury. Enough. Indeed.

    Julie Williams on
  • That was the most revealing truth I think I have ever chanced to read. My Lurlene thanks your Edna and I thank you.

    Lurlene on


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