"Man is an animal suspended in webs of significance that he himself has spun." ~ Clifford Geertz
In an effort to cleanse the space, I went through tubs that have neatly been stacked in a corner, doing no harm but still taking up energetic space. I found a note someone I deeply love and respect, once wrote to me:
"...the trick is to keep your heart open so you are not even slightly diminished. Only made larger..."
This woman is part of my “village” and was offering advice as I dealt with the residual affects of someone who operates from a place of perceived scarcity.
What I appreciate about my friend's wisdom is her innate ability to understand that we have the chance to grow larger in circumstances that threaten to make us feel small. These moments of conflict show us, in no uncertain terms, a direction we do not wish to follow. Behavior we do not wish to emulate. Seeing the negative, we can reframe it and more clearly see the direction we do wish to go, the ways we do wish to be.
...“keep your heart open…” To not shut down or grip or put up a defense, but remain permeable, so things can move through you. So you can hear and feel and sense everything and make the next decision from that place of availability.
It’s not making yourself vulnerable, it’s making yourself available. To be a person you’ve always been, but larger, more you.
"...the world we live in is not really one made of rocks, trees, and physical objects; it is a world of insults, opportunities, status symbols, betrayals, saints and sinners. All of these are human creations which, though real in their own way, are not real in the way that rocks and trees are real. These human creations are like fairies in J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan: They exist only if you believe in them... a consensual hallucination..." ~ Jonathan Haidt
Sadly, the person my friend wrote to me about is still in the periphery of our lives, attempting harm. What I can do is soften my heart when it wants to harden, breathe deeply so ample oxygen gets to my brain and the fight or flight signal quiets, and resolve to hold life more dear by walking in the direction I wish to go.
Today I am deeply grateful. That today, I have enough. Enough love. Enough food. Enough shelter from the spring rains, warm sun, and the occasional hail storm. Enough friendship – in particular that one voice across the country who holds life dear in such a way she chooses only the largeness of joy.
always in motion,